Archive for the ‘Poetry’ Category

My Friend The Dog

Posted: September 20, 2015 in All about ME!, Poetry
Tags: , ,
Black lab hi-res

Black lab hi-res (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

As I mentioned in my last entry, I have a dog now. She’s not just any dog though! She’s the bestest dog in all the land! She’s part Pit bull, and part Black Lab and all adorable. When I look at her, I wanna peench her cheeks and start talking baby talk to her. Is that weird? That’s weird right?

Anyway! She’s wonderful and adorable and is highly intelligent. She knows how to sit, eat, shake, eat, lay down, come here, eat, give kisses, speak and eat…All on command! Impressive right? Hell to the yeah it is! She’s actually a really good companion, despite not being much of a conversationalist. In fact, I have decided to write an original poem about her right here and now.

Let me begin…Ahem! *Clears throat*

I got a new friend,
and she’s my new dog.
She’s not all wooden,
Like some worn log.
She’s not all slimy,
like a gross frog.
She’s covered in fur,
because she’s a dog.
Though there are times,
When she eats like a hog.
But when all is said and done,
she’s still just a dog.

Thank you to all my adoring fans! For those interested in purchasing a copy of this poem, one can be made available to you for a mere $500.00!

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A Haiku

Posted: April 15, 2010 in Poetry
Tags: , , , , ,

Banannas are good.
Peanut Butter is good too.
But not together.

Peanut butter jelly with a baseball bat!What the hell is up with THIS?! It’s got to be one of the nastiest things I have ever heard of. Peanut butter and cheese sandwich?? That’s even worse than Peanut butter and banana sandwiches! Seriously, has anyone had the balls to actually make this and eat it? Is it as truly disgusting as it sounds?

Anyway, if you got the balls and want to give it a try, now you got the recipe to make this abomination of a sandwich! So, by all means give it a go! I however will just stick with jelly instead of cheese.

On the other hand, peanut butter and cheese has inspired me, and gotten my creative juices flowing, and now I feel the need to write a small little song!

The peanut butter and cheese song

Please! Oh please, Oh please!
I’m down on my knees!!
Please!
Don’t feed me anymore peanut butter and cheese!

I got stung by a swarm of bees!
My dog got eaten by a pack of wild fleas!
But nothings worse than peanut butter and cheese!

Ah geeze!!
It’s peanut butter and cheese!

Thank ya! Thank ya very much!

I felt that the world was too full of those mushy love type poems that exist all over the place, and to be honest I wasn’t in a very loving mood! So, I wrote a short and quirky Anti-Love poem called “I hate you”.

There’s something you must know,
and know what I say is true.
Never have I hated another,
the same way that I hate you.

I hate you with a passion,
Yes you i truly do despise.
I hope one day that I shall see,
someone gouging out your eyes.

I hope that now you know,
just how much i hate you.
and should we ever meet again,
I know that I shall spew.

We all love it! In fact, I once hear that Odin breast fed his own baby Thor Nachos! So, I think we should offer Nachos a little tribute..mine will be in the form of a Limerick..

Ahem!

There was a man who was all Macho,
who would eat nacho after nacho.
People started to look and stare
when the man soon broke air,
but blamed it on his dog named Poncho.

Thank you! Thank you very much!