Archive for the ‘All about ME!’ Category

Did Ya Miss Me?!?!

Posted: February 16, 2017 in All about ME!

Surprise! I am back! Sorry about my long leave of absence. I have not been well, but I am a bit better now! I know, it’s been ages! A lot has changed too! Tons of video games came out! We had Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Years. My house almost caught fire…..TWICE! I’ve gotten rid of Cable TV….and….I think that’s it! Still, that’s a lot of chan…oh! Wait, Trump became president and turned America into a crazy conspiracy filled dystopian based Science Fiction movie!

It’s crazy! I mean, I was against Trump from the start, but I didn’t think it would turn out this bad! Only Nixon had it worse, and it took him years to get there! Trump has succeeded in catching up in less than a month! I really don’t think Trump will finish out his term if he continues down the road he’s going down. He’s going to eventually have to start acting like a president, or get impeached.

Personally, I would rather have Pence has a president, so I am rooting for his impeachment. I mean, Trump doesn’t know what he’s doing! It’s not surprising, since he has zero experience! Government can’t be run like a business. If it could, Richard Branson would be the British Prime Minister! Bill Gates would have already ran for president.

If Trump was serious about running for president,  and actually cared about the country as opposed to only caring about the all mighty dollar and how it will affect his businesses, he would have first run for mayor of New York. Start somewhere, and get a feel for how Government works! Don’t just go; “Meh! I think I’ll paint my face orange today and try to run the whole country….how hard could it be?!?”

Don’t get me wrong! I was against Hillary Clinton as well, and if she had won, I would be complaining about her and wondering if Trump could have done a better job. However! After seeing the mess that is Trumps America? I am pretty confident that Clinton would have done less damage. She would have still done damage, but it could be easily fixed. The damage from Trump? I think most of that is going to scar!

Today while enjoying my weekend and catching up on episodes of Lucifer, I was startled when there came a pounding at my front door. Not a knock mind you, but an actual pounding. A pounding so loud, that I half expected the door to come flying off the hinge. I’m not sure who was startled more, me or my dog. Either way, she behaved as a dog does and went apeshit! I rushed to the door, about ready to bitch out some Jehovah witnesses or something, and find a police officer standing there staring at me.

I looked past the officer to the street, and there were not 1, not 2, but 3 squad cars. When I saw that, I had all kinds of thoughts race through my head. The first thought was that something terrible had happened in the family. However the officer quickly put that fear to rest, by informing me that a neighbor hadn’t seen me for a few days and was worried, so he/she called the police to check on me. He asked if I was ok, and if I was sure that I was ok. I informed him that I was in fact perfectly fine, and so he said goodbye and left.

The thing is, I am an antisocial person. I know my neighbors, but it’s not like I talk to them. We aren’t friends, it’s not like we hold annual block parties. If you asked me any of my neighbors names, I couldn’t tell you! I have nick names for them, so that if I have to mention them to friends for some reason, they know who I am talking about. So, there’s no reason for anyone to be particularly concerned about me.

Now, if it was a family member, or friend who called? I would understand that! Friends and family tend to either talk to me, see me, or see me post on Facebook on a daily basis. If I go 3 or so days and none of them have heard from me? Yea, odds are I am dead! But neighbors?

The thing is, I am outside all the time! I take my dog out several times a day, I go out and check my mail. I leave in the morning, and come home in the early evening. I am literally outside, more than I am inside. Apparently though I am not outside at the exact same moment as my neighbor I guess, and that’s a reason to call the cops? Seriously?

Look, if you are genuinely concerned, that’s great! I’m even a bit thankful I guess. However, if you are really concerned, come over and knock on my door, then ask if I am ok. No need to have the cops come kick my door down. I don’t have anything against the police, but I have a pit bull. If cops are coming in my yard, when I am not expecting it, for no reason what ever really, there’s a chance my dog might run out of the yard. Worse yet, with her being a pit bull she could startle the officer, and end up getting shot. For what? Cause a neighbor didn’t see me outside for a day or two and didn’t want to be bothered coming over themselves?

So, I guess from now on I need to go door to door every few days, and say “Hi! Still alive!” just to avoid having the local swat team kick my door down. It’s just stupid, and yes I am pissed off. Also, why the hell did they need to bring three squad cars down here to check on my safety? Did the neighbor tell them that I was being held hostage by Hans Gruber or something? I think three cars a a bit of an overkill if you ask me!

The other day the unthinkable occurred! My washing machine broke down! This is a horrible time of year for things to break down, yet it always seems like if somethings going to break, it happens around Christmas. Why? Because Christmas hates me, that’s why!

Anyway, as I was saying! My Washing machine broke down, and because I put things off to the very last minute, all my clothes were dirty. I couldn’t very well go to a laundromat wearing dirty stinky clothes! I was running around like a chicken with it’s head cut off! What was I going to do? I can’t go wash clothes without clean clothes…and I can’t get clean clothes without washing my clothes! It was quite a paradox!

After I calmed down a moment, a thought struck me from out of the blue(that totally just reminded me of that song “Believe it or not“)..Washing Machines are a relatively new invention! They were only invented in the 1850’s, what did people do BEFORE then?? They washed them by hand of course! I could do that! Of course, I wasn’t alive in the 1800’s, so I wasn’t sure what the proper way to do clothes washing by hand…you know, other than what I saw being done on the first season of Walking Dead, so I googled it!

After reading up on how it’s done PROPERLY I did it myself, and they came out smelling and looking nicer and cleaner than when I machine washed them. However, I am old and not in very good condition, so afterwards my arms, and back were killing me…they still are killing me actually. Still, at least I had clean clothes now! So, there’s that!

Sleep is for the Weak

Posted: December 2, 2015 in All about ME!
Tags: , ,
WWS-InsomniaI have this annoying problem! I’m not sure if it’s common or not, but I am unable to go to sleep if I have to wake up at a certain time the next day. It doesn’t matter if I have to be up at 7 in the morning or 12 o’clock in the afternoon! If I am expected to be awake at a certain time, I can’t sleep! It’s like my body is trying to mess with me! It knows I have things to do, so it makes sure I am tired, run down and on the verge of passing out.

Don’t get me wrong! I do get tired! In fact I get so sleepy my eyes burn, and I am swamped with headaches that brings me to the verge of tears. Yet I just lay there, tossing and turning. Forcing my eyes closed, hoping they will stay closed. They never do though! They never do!

I wouldn’t say I suffer from Insomnia, because it’s not a regular occurrence. In fact, if I have no plans the next day I can fall asleep on command! No problem at all. So, not Insomnia in my opinion. Just my body being a jerk to me!

Why would my body do that you ask? Because it’s an asshole! That’s why! My body hates me, and wants to make me as miserable as possible!

 

My Friend The Dog

Posted: September 20, 2015 in All about ME!, Poetry
Tags: , ,
Black lab hi-res

Black lab hi-res (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

As I mentioned in my last entry, I have a dog now. She’s not just any dog though! She’s the bestest dog in all the land! She’s part Pit bull, and part Black Lab and all adorable. When I look at her, I wanna peench her cheeks and start talking baby talk to her. Is that weird? That’s weird right?

Anyway! She’s wonderful and adorable and is highly intelligent. She knows how to sit, eat, shake, eat, lay down, come here, eat, give kisses, speak and eat…All on command! Impressive right? Hell to the yeah it is! She’s actually a really good companion, despite not being much of a conversationalist. In fact, I have decided to write an original poem about her right here and now.

Let me begin…Ahem! *Clears throat*

I got a new friend,
and she’s my new dog.
She’s not all wooden,
Like some worn log.
She’s not all slimy,
like a gross frog.
She’s covered in fur,
because she’s a dog.
Though there are times,
When she eats like a hog.
But when all is said and done,
she’s still just a dog.

Thank you to all my adoring fans! For those interested in purchasing a copy of this poem, one can be made available to you for a mere $500.00!

Disappearance

Posted: September 20, 2015 in All about ME!
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Html-source-code2

Html-source-code2 (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I am a very bad Blogger! It’s been well over a year since I have written anything on this blog. In fact, it’s been about 2 years since I have written anything meaningful! What I am saying is, I am a very neglectful Blogmaster! However, to be fair there were reasons surrounding my disappearance. A lot of them actually, that just piled together one right after another. Everything from family deaths, to the most recent reason, my computer dying and me not being uncle moneybags enough to get a new one for awhile.

However, everything is now in the clear. My oceans of life seem fairly smooth at the moment, so I am thrilled to announce that my long time absence from the blogosphere ends…..wait for it……NOW!

I’m sure most people don’t care if I am here or not, but writing in my blog was something I enjoyed, so I care. I am thrilled about my return. So, get ready for more upcoming discussions about my life, reviews about games and books..and most importantly: What my dog thinks of Kibbles N Bits. Yea, that’s right! I got a dog now….She says woof.

When I get depressed, I tend to close myself off from the world. Hideaway in some corner of the house, avoid anything that might bring me joy, and live on a diet of Poptarts and vodka. I did this when my wife passed away, and have been trying to do this now that my mother is gone. Except that this time I am fighting against that urge.

I don’t want to become that person again. I literally just managed to start picking my life up, and my mom would be so hurt and disappointed in me if I let myself fall down that dank whole again. So, I try with all my might not to let myself become “That Person” again.

One thing I do to prevent myself from going to that dark place again is to force myself into social situations. When I am in that crevasse of depression I trend to cut myself of from people. So, putting myself in a place where I am forced to interact with people keeps me from avoiding humanity.

One thing I did was force myself to go to a mexican restaraunt. Normally  I love Mexican food. It’s cheesy, spicy, it’s just all around great. You really can’t go wrong with Mexican food. You can however go wrong with a Mexican food establisment.

This place I went to, seemed like a nice place. A little dark, but that could have been because I had been used to the brightness of the mid-day sun. It had an overall nice atmosphere, Complete with a mariachi band singing happy birthday to a 9 year old kid, who should totally have been in school.

The key word to that last paragraph is the word “seemed”, because while it certainly looked nice, it had a darker, seedier underside! I had ordered a platter of Nachos, because I am a sucker for tortilla chips and cheese! Who isn’t? I must say that it looked and tasted nice. I liked the tortilla chips being died the color of the Mexican flag! Nice touch! Just hope nobody starts dying apple pies red, white and blue.

Anyway, it looked good and tasted good. The fork they brought me was bent, almost like Uri Geller went to town on it, but it wasn’t a big deal because this is Nachos! It’s not like I was eating enchiladas! You don’t need a fork for Nachos! So, I started steam shoveling those babies down my gullet like a hungry hungry hippo, when to my surprise a little cockroach comes scurrying out from under my plate! I squashed it, and turned it into bug paste, but that did manage to kill the enjoyment factor.

Before anyone asks, no! I did not go up and complain about my unexpected lunch guest, because how do you word that?  Plus, it’s a bit out of their control I guess isn’t it? I mean, it’s not like the walls were crawling with them, and customers were being carried down to the roach queen in their hive located in the basement. Still! Cockroach! Under my plate!

To top it off, it was a tiny baby one! Which means there’s probablly a whole family of them there somewhere, and a mother cockroach standing out on a Toilet rim shouting “Henry! Come home Henry! Dinner time!”, only it won’t come home will it? Cause I turned it into Roach pudding!

Don’t get me wrong, I still kept eating the nachos! It’s not like the little critter climbed up on the mountain of cheese and guacamole that was my dinner, and start doing some dirty dancing moves. If it didn’t touch my grub, it’s still edible!