Archive for January, 2013

abramsWell, it’s official! J.J. Abrams won’t be directing the next Star Trek film, and is now set to direct the upcoming Star Wars flick. Apparently the fans are rejoicing with this news. I am not exactly sure why! Maybe it’s fans of Star Trek that are rejoicing? Since now, they will actually be able to watch the next Star Trek movie without having to squint through a barrage of lens flares. Perhaps the rejoicing fans are fans of Lens Flares in general! Maybe, they are so excited about the idea of a possible light saber duel that can’t be seen because it’s entirely blotted out by one giant lens flare!

Surely the rejoicing fans can’t be fans of Star Wars right?  Apparently they are! Again, I am not sure why the rejoicing! Am I the only one who seriously finds Abrams over-use of Lens Flares to be more than a little annoying? Sure, his directing isn’t bad in general! I mean, I genuinely enjoyed LOST, but that was before the whole flare fetish thing kicked in. It’s now gotten to the point where his love of all things bright has ruined his actual talent as a director. At least to me, and judging by response of the Star Wars community, I maybe the only one in this mind-set.

I just think they could have went with better directors. Zemeckis would have been good,  Jackson would have been great, as would Spielberg! Hell, I would have even settled for Burton, granted I would have to tolerate Johnny Depp as a sith lord, with claymation troopers doing his bidding on a planet with a bunch of curly leafless trees, but it’s infinitely better than lens flares!

I’m not saying Abrams is the worst possible choice! There are plenty of worse directors for Star Wars! They could have stuck us with Woody Allen or Quentin Tarantino. However, just because there are worse choices, does not make the current choice a good one! Will he ruin Star Wars for me? Doubtful! If he didn’t completely ruin Star Trek for me, I doubt if he could possibly ruin Star Wars. He could however make the experience of watching it, highly unenjoyable.


brain power

I wish there were such a thing as a cerebral dictation device. If such a thing was ever released to the general public, do you know who would be first in line with credit card in hand? This guy! Yeah, This guy, that’s who!

The reason I even desire such a device is because it would make porn surfing much easier! No longer would I have to type in search queries into Google image search with only one hand!

I suppose I could also use it for other things, particularly blogging. In fact, I believe it might be at least equally useful for Blogging, as it would for Porn surfing! After all, there are many times that I am doing some mundane activity somewhere away from the computer, when inspiration hits! I could be taking a shower, and get inspired to write about the plight of the rain forest, I could be taking out trash and be zapped with inspiration regarding pollutants that contaminate our air, I could be taking a crap, and be reminded about that time I a giant boulder fell in front of our car during a long road trip!

When inspiration does hit me, I write this huge blog entry in my mind! usually a great one! A Blog entry that re-defines what we consider to be Epic! An entry that would inspire awe among the masses, that would make people pause and think. At the very least, make people stop and scratch their head as they exclaim “What the Fuckery?”. These are the types of blog entries that I mentally write, that never make it to physical or digital form, as the case may be.

So, why don’t I write them you ask? That’s a great question I reply!

Fact of the matter is, I have every intention of writing it, but the thing is, by the time I get anywhere near a computer with an internet connection, one of several things happens.

1) I sit at the computer and suddenly get bombarded by emails, Skype messages and/or calls. Many of these people are friends and/or family. Basically people I love and am close to. People who take priority over a blog post, so I go and respond to these people. Since I am a gentleman, I give them my complete attention. When our chats/discussions are over, I usually have forgotten all about the blog post I wanted to make!

2) I sit down at the computer, get ready to open my browser and “Accidentally” click the shortcut to “Star Wars: The Old Republic“, and when that happens? Well, you can just forget about anything else happening that night!

3) I just plain forget! I mean, I mentally write a huge ass entry! It’s a little difficult to remember all the ins and outs. Sure, I still have the basic idea, but when I sit down and start blogging on the topic, I can’t think of what to say! See, I find it hard to blog on command. It just comes so much easier to me, when I’m not even trying and especially when I am not ready.

Now, I have considered carrying a digital recorder around with me, so that I can record my thoughts as they creep up, and then transcribe those audio logs into digital blog form, but that requires talking into a digital recorded. You know, where people can hear me! Have you read my blog? I talk about some dumb ass shit on here! Stuff that would make the locals think I was super paladin nerd! I got a rep to protect man!

So anyway! Yeah, we need a mental dictation device. Especially for the added bonus of porn surfing ease.

The stats helper monkeys prepared a 2012 annual report for this blog.

Here’s an excerpt:

600 people reached the top of Mt. Everest in 2012. This blog got about 9,400 views in 2012. If every person who reached the top of Mt. Everest viewed this blog, it would have taken 16 years to get that many views.

Click here to see the complete report.