While watching the morning news yesterday, the weather women gave a good warning. She said “If you are driving this Thanksgiving, Watch out for Frog”, and this is very sound advice! One might think this was just a goof on her part, and that she meant to say Fog instead of Frog. This may very well be the case, I mean she is a weather women, so discussing fog would make sense. However, that doesn’t make her warning any less useful! Therefore, I felt it important to share this holiday advice to my loving adoring public!

Let me set the scene for you! You find yourself driving home from spending the holiday with your family. You are cruising along the freeway, thinking about how great that deep-fried turkey tasted, and all of a sudden you feel the ground begin to shake. The logical side of your mind says “Don’t worry, it’s just a Tyranosaurus Rex running behind you”, but clearly you aren’t worried because they have tiny arms, and besides, you have a full tank of gas and are on a freeway! Just as you are smirking to yourself, a giant frog leaps out onto the road ahead of you. Not just a giant frog mind you, but fucking Frogzilla! It glances down at you with its froglike eyes, opens its mouth and unfurled it sticky tongue, launching it through the sky at your little foreign car. You have mere seconds to think, and the only thing that you have time to gather in your head is “Holy fuckballs!”, and at that instant your car is engulfed by the sticky pink tongue of a giant frog, and gulped down.

This could have been avoided, if only you watched out for Frog!


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