Archive for May, 2012

Doctor Who: The Eternity Clock

What’s the worst game ever released? Up until today I would have said E.T. for the Atari 2600, a game that I am sure most people who have had the chance or misfortune to play it, would agree is quite bad.

However, today I played a game that actually outbads ET in the stinker department! The game is Doctor Who: The Eternity Clock, and the game sucks so much ass that it isn’t even remotely funny!

Let me say up front, that I am a huge Doctor Who Fan! I have loved Doctor Who for as far back as I can remember, and while not a huge fan of Matt Smith‘s portrayal of the Doctor, I still watch it, because it’s Doctor Who! What I am getting at, is that there isn’t much they could do, that would turn me away from the good doctor.

A few years back, they released a series of episodic point and click adventure games, centered around Matt Smith’s Doctor and “Amy Pond“. I loved those games! So, when “The Eternity Clock” was released, I picked that up. Now, normally, I won’t touch a game unless it has a Demo, because I am a careful game shopper, but again, this was the Doctor, and I loved the other games!

First off, this game is NOTHING like the episodic series! So, if that’s what you are expecting, sorry to disappoint. The game plays kind of like a side scroller game, with some puzzle solving and stealth elements.

Allow me to go into further detail.

When I say Puzzle solving, I mean very basic puzzles, they aren’t creative, and just seems kind of forced. They don’t offer much of a challenge in of themselves, the challenge is working against an impossible time limit, that requires perfect execution of the puzzle. Normally not a bad thing in a game, except that you have to also realise that this game has some horrible controls! Aiming your sonic screwdriver is not very accurate, and many times will take a few tries to acquire a target, which takes away precious seconds, which is essential when you are working against a very demanding clock.

Now, I also said it had stealth elements, but let me clarify. Have you ever played Splinter Cell for the mobile phone? It’s very much like that. Crouch and sneak up behind enemies and disable them. Press up at darkened doorways to step into them and not get seen. run past the search lights that just go back and forth.

That’s the stealth im talking about. Basically the game plays like a bad cell phone game.

That being said, in terms of graphics? The graphics are horrible! Especially when compared to the years older episodic games! One would think they would have improved the graphics instead of worsening them.

The sound? That is actually pretty damn good! It has the actual actors reprising their characters roles, and the music is of course very whoish. Everything audiowise screams Doctor who!

Overall however, I would say the game is garbage, and just like ET, took a good IP and managed to turn it into a steaming pile. Bad graphics, horrible controls, ridiculous time requirements(Combined with the controls) and chock full of bugs!

What? I didn’t mention the bugs? Those are there a plenty, which adds to the frustration! Cutscenes won’t start when they should, thus causing the game to be unable to continue unless you restart, and the restart locations are few and far between! Not only that, but during the one player game, occasionally River will become unresponsive and just stand there, not follow or engage in any interactions. It’s almost as if this game wasn’t beta tested. Kind of like they rushed to produce a sub-par game, stuff it in a box, and say “Hey who fans! We have this wet turd that you will love, because it says Doctor Who on it!”.

On top of ALL this, the game developers are apparently quite confident that Who fans will eat up anything with Doctor Who stamped on it, that they plan on making this a series of games! This one being the first. Will they be as bad? I don’t know, to be honest, I won’t even give them a try.

One thing I did learn from this, is do not, under any circumstance buy a game without a demo, even when you are fairly sure you will love it!

Thanks for ruining Doctor Who for me Supermassive Games!

Awhile back, I gave a list of the 11 best shows streaming on Netflix streaming. Why? Netflix Streaming is a popular service! That’s why! Many people subscribe to netflix, and have their streaming service included in their subscription. Netflix streaming can also be viewed on your TV through a netflix enabled device, or any current generation console.

However, with that being said, I find it only fair to mention that HULU has a similar service called Hulu Plus that does many of the same things. Sure, Netflix Streaming has a wider variety of movies, but HULU Plus has a better variety of television shows. In fact, they have currently airing shows, that are viewable as early as the day after they air on TV.

So, to show that I am not a Netflix fanboy, I will now provide you with a list of the best 11 shows to watch on Hulu Plus.

1) 21 Jump Street – This show was huge when I was in school! Probably because it was a police drama, that high school kids could understand. It centered around a group of cops, wh would go undercover at various high schools and bust the bad guys! It’s probably most known for being the catapult that gave Johnny Depp his shot at stardom. However, Peter DeLuis in my opinion was the true star of the show, and he went on to write some of the best episodes of Stargate SG-1.

2) Night Stalker – A remake of the classic television show Kolchak. The show is about reporter Carl Kolchak as he hunts down all manner of monster. The show only lasted one short season, but what a season it was!

3) The Finder – The show got cancelled from the FOX television line-up, but the whole season can still be watched on HULU plus, at least for now. Not sure what the show is? Well, it’s a spin-off of BONES, but is nothing like BONES. To be honest, the show didn’t seem very FOXlike to begin with, and struck me as more suited for USA networks Characters Welcome line-up.

4) Wiseguy – It’s a show from the 80’s so you know it’s going to be jam-packed with explosions! It follows Vinnie Terranova(The worst Italian name EVER) as he goes undercover in various criminal organization. everything from the MOB to the fashion industry(Dont ask).

5) Dancing with the Stars – Usually I prefer my reality shows with a little less Tango, and a little more bug eating. However, DWTS can be mildly interesting. Mainly because I like to watch b grade celebrities fall on their face in front of a live audience. Granted, that doesn’t happen very often, but when it does? Greatness!

6) Underbelly – Two words that best describe this show are as follows. Australian. Mobsters. It’s a crime drama from down under, that is based on actual events from Melbourne gangland war which lasted from 1995 to 2004. Great show, that’s really worth viewing. unfortunately, as of the time of this writing, only season 2 is available on Hulu Plus.

7) Jack of All Trades – An action comedy starring Bruce Campbell, he plays Jack Stiles, American Secret Agent in the 19th century. One thing I should mention is, is that each episode of this action series is only a half our long. Not very common for an action show.

8) Mongrels – It’s kind of like the Muppets, if the muppets were all mangy looking animals, and had come down with some weird form of tourrettes.

9) Awake – Imagine living 2 different realities, and not knowing which is real, and which is a dream. That’s what police detective Michael Britten has to deal with after a car accident.

10) The Surreal Life – It’s kind of like Big Brother, but with B grade celebrities. That’s pretty much all you need to know really.

11) The Incredible Hulk – Based on the comic book from Marvel, this show centers around Bruce Banner, who was bombarded with gamma radiation, and is now hunted by the government. When his stress levels get up there, he turns green! Don’t make him angry, you won’t like him when he’s angry!

Logo of the Fox Broadcasting Company

FOX has apparently gone trigger happy and has decided to cancel some of their best shows! Shows like Alcatraz, Terra Nova and “The Finder“(More on my thoughts on the cancellation of the finder in a future post). Meanwhile, they decide to renew shows like “Touch”. Seriously? Touch? Does anyone even watch that show? I didn’t care for it, but I will give it the benefit of a doubt, that some people loved it. Let’s even go on and say, that a good number of people loved it.

However, I refuse to believe, that there were more people watching TOUCH than there were watching Alcatraz, Terra Nova or “The Finder”. Which leaves me wondering, why they renewed that, and cancelled the others? I think it’s one reason, and one reason only. That reason can be summed up in one word. That word is: Kiefer.

I think the only reason it got renewed is because Kiefer is in the show, and FOX thinks the ratings will pick up after the first season, because of Kiefer. I mean, 24 was a huge hit! Clearly, it was Kiefer that made the show, and not the plots, the unique concept and playing on peoples fear of terrorism. I must be Kiefer! So, since the show has Kiefer, it stands to reason that “TOUCH” will improve.

Thing is, they are probably right. Not about Kiefer, but about more people watching TOUCH next season. However, the same thing would have happened with the other shows! Most times, I never watch a show dring season one, because stations love cancelling them! I hate watching a show, getting into it, viewing up until the season finale, watching said finale end with an epic cliff hanger, and then a few weeks later finding out that the show got the axe!

If a show is renewed a second season, I will either rent the first season, or buy the first season, watch it and begin watching the show regularly from season 2 onward.

So, want to improve you views FOX? Try keeping shows with high potential around for more than one season! Other stations do this too, but nowhere near as often as FOX. I’m almost to the point where I won’t watch a FOX show.

However, despite all my ranting about FOXs trigger finger, I am happy(and surprised) to say that “The New Girl” has gotten renewed.

 

Sam and Al

It’s 3:30 in the morning, and instead of getting a good nights sleep, I am sitting here watching the pilot episode of Quantum Leap. Why? Well, the heat for starters! This heat makes it a little difficult to get a nights sleep, let alone a good nights sleep. So, the heat is one reason. The other reason, is because I haven’t seen Quantum Leap in YEARS.

You know what though? Even after all these years, Quantum Leap is still a fantastic show! It just doesn’t get old, which is not something that can be said for most Sci-Fi shows. To be fair though, unlike other Sci-Fi Shows, Quantum Leap doesn’t rely too heavily on special effects, so that’s probably a big reason why it has aged so well.

I really wish they would do either a reunion movie special of Quantum Leap, A Blockbuster movie, or a new TV show based on it. I really think it would do well, because how could it not? It’s Quantum Leap!