The Punisher! I would say he is my favorite Super-hero, but in all honesty, can he be considered a super-hero? If anything he is a criminal, even if his actions are what saves lives. By definition, he is a criminal, I would even go so far as to say he is a Serial Killer. So, since he can’t be really considered a super hero, all i can say he is one of my most favorite comic book characters. He ranks up there with Richard Fell, Yorick, Rick Grimes and Jesse Custer. Although The punisher fits closer to the “Super Hero” category than the comic characters I just mentioned.

There have also been several attempts to capture the greatness of the Punisher comics, and none of them were able to quite do it. There was always something missing. So, let’s take a look at past Punisher flicks, and point and laugh at them til they cry and pee their pants in the sandbox shall we? 🙂

The Punisher: The WORST punisher film ever released. I am surprised Marvel even allowed this. This is just a vigiliante movie. They stuck the title “The Punisher” on it to try and score with comic book fan boys. Frank Castle through out the movie never even wears the skull! Sure, he has a dagger that has a skull on it, but that’s nothing.

As if the skull thing wasn’t enough, they Changed his wifes name to Julie instead of Maria and instead of having a son and a daughter, he had 2 daughters. Whats the point of EITHER of these changes? Nothing! There’s more changes too. Instead of the family having a picnic and being gunned down by the mob and frank getting left for dead, the writers decided it would be cooler to have Franks family get blown up in a car bomb that was designed for him.

Lot of changes! If they named the main Character to Marc Walrus, I would never have known it was supposed to be the Punisher! It’s obvious to see why this movie flopped! Oh yea, and it had Dolph lundgren, so obviously it was destined for failure.

The Punisher: several years pass, the stench of the 1989 movie of the same name has lifted, movie companies decide “We have more technology now! We can create a more complex piece of cinema crap!” thus they proceeded to create The punisher! This movie too failed and was frowned on by most people actually. I mean, it turned out less crap than Dolphs version, but seriously guys, is that anything to brag about? That’s like saying “Look! My oozing crotch sore drips less puss than yours!”

So, what made the next incarnation of the Punisher suck? Well, for me it was because plotwise the movie borrowed WAY to much from the comics. I mean, esentially i was just reading the Garth Ennis run of my Punisher Comics all mished and mashed and mixxed together. Sadly I don’t believe there was enough originality to hold my interest. I will state though, that out of the three movie released, this is my favorite. That’s not saying much though.

Punisher War Zone: The newest Punisher movie outing. I had hopes for this movie. Three time’s the charm I muttered to myself. I sincerely believed this movie, would at least fall into the realm of tolerable. I was wrong.

To me, it was a hard choice to make. Was the ’89 punisher flick or this punisher flick the worst movie ever? It was difficult to decide. What did save this movie from being the worst, was at least it stayed true to the comics to a degree. Plus Ray Stevenson made a more realistic punisher than the previous actors.

So, WHY did the newest punisher flick suck? True to source material, Original content, someone that actually fits the bill of Frank Castle? Where did they go wrong? Oh yes! Wayne Knight was in it! Yea, that helped sink it! Also the movie was more boring than watching snot dribble out of the  nose of a sick old man.

BONUS!!: The last two Punisher movies have inspired video games. “The Punisher Video game” was inspired by the second movie in these stinking bombs. It also has the voice of Thomas Jane….and is quite possibly the BEST video game ever produced! No shit? No SHIT!

Not to be outdone, The newest Punisher movie too has inspired a video game. This game is called “Punisher: No mercy” Which at the time of this writing looks like its going to be a piece of crap. I could however be wrong though. If I am, I will be the first to admit that I do indeed suck! 😀


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