Archive for February, 2009

Lock eyes from across the room
Down my drink while the rhythms boom
Take your hands, skip the names
No need here for the silly games
Make our way through the smoke and crowd
The club is the sky and I’m on your cloud
Move in close as the lasers fly
Our bodies touch and the angels cry

Leave this place go back to yours
Our lips first touch outside your doors
The whole night what we’ve got in store
Whisper in my ear that you want some more
And I jizz in my pants

This really never happens you can take my word
I won’t apologize
That’s just absurd
Mainly your fault for the way that you dance
And now I jizz in my pants
Don’t tell your friends or I’ll say you’re a slut
Plus it’s your fault
You were rubbing my butt
I’m very sensitive
Some would say thats a plus
Now I’ll go home and change

I need a few things from the grocery
Do things alone now mostly
Left me heartbroken, not lookin’ for love
Surprise in my eyes when I looked above
The checkout counter and I saw her face
My heart stood still so did time and space
Never thought that I could feel real again
But the look in her eyes said I need a friend
She turned to me that’s when she said it
Looked me dead in the face, asked cash or credit
And I jizzed in my pants

It’s perfectly normal
Nothing wrong with me
But we’re going to need a cleanup
On aisle 3
And now I’m posed in an awkward stance
Because I jizzed in my pants
To be fair
You were flirting a lot
Plus the way you bag cans makes me
Bothered and hot
Please stop acting like you’re not impressed
One more thing
I’m gonna pay by check

Last week, I saw a film
As I recall it was a horror film
Walked outside into the rain
Checked my phone and saw you rang
And I jizzed in my pants

Speeding in the street, when the red lights flash
Need to get away, need to make a dash
A song comes on that reminds me of you
And I jizz in my pants

The next day
My alarm goes off
And I jizz in my pants

Open the window and a breeze rolls in
And I jizz in my pants

When Bruce Willis was dead at the end of Sixth Sense
I jizzed in my pants

I just ate a grape
And I jizzed in my pants

I went to. . .
Ok seriously you guys, can we. . . . ok?

I jizz right in my pants
Every time you’re next to me
And when we’re holdin hands
Its like havin sex with me
You say I’m premature
I just call it ectasy
I wear a rubber at all times
Its a necessity
Cuz I jizz in my pants

Advertisements

The question “Has America ever won a war on its own?” was posed to me and a group of my friends today, and I must say the answers that were given were quite amusing to say the least. My favorite answer I think was “Yea, we won the civil war.”

Of course we won the civil war! We were fighting ourselves! Even if we lost the civil war? America still would have “Won”.

That answer did amuse me. After that, there was a huge discussion about different wars, and blah blah blah. Then of course the “There are no winners in a war, only losers.” and “Victories aren’t always won on the battlefield” kind of answers. Those I think are simple cop-outs. Fact of the matter is this! America has not won any war on its own. No sugar-coating! We haven’t!

That being said, I would also like to point to the fact that in comparison to most countries, America isn’t really all that old! Since America has been a country, wars have changed quite a bit. Countries don’t fight wars on their own these days. Great Britain recognized the independence of the United States in 1783, Since then, how many countries have won wars STRICTLY on their own? No financial aid, No supplies(Medical-food…nothing!)? I’m thinking you will be hard pressed to find many. Fact of the matter is, a war is not fought on their own.

People go on about “Oh America fought the Vietnam on their own, and lost!” Hate to burst your bubble, but it wasn’t just America either. France, the United States, Australia, South Korea, and New Zealand were all involved in the war(Obviously North and south Vietnam as well). Also it’s not like north Vietnam won single-handed either. They were being supported by China and Russia. They also had just chased France out(Who America was supplying), so to use “Vietnam war” as an example of what happens when america tries to fight a war alone is ridiculous.

Anyway! I’m ranting now. My apologies.

mt_dew_voltageOk, so I am sure most people are aware of the new mountain dew flavor called “Mountain Dew: Voltage“, I mean, you people voted for this! It’s like, the Obama of the dew family! He’s the new hope for dew! 😀 Anyway! It’s a great flavor, infused with ginsing so, you can stay awake late at night. 🙂

Plus as an added bonus it’s got a yummy berry taste! So, caffeine? Check! Yummy Raspberry Taste? Check! Yummy Citrus taste? Check! Hypnotic Blue color that makes you go WOAH when the LCD lights of your computer shine through it? CHECK!

So, holy crap! It’s like it’s got everything! Not quite, hold your panties right there mister! That might be enough for any other tom, dick, harry and radcliffe, but not for the SHAIDE! No sir! I’m picky when it comes to what soft drinks I guzzle down.

My first complaint is that there’s no DIET version, and if there is, well our store doesnt bloody well carry the diet version. Granted, we are a small town, and our store is slightly small and we only have the one, but by god we are grateful for that, cause otherwise we would have t drive 1 and a half hours to the next store, in order to pick up a bloody loaf of bread so we can finish making our peanut butter sammitch!

so, yea best as I know, theres no DIET.

The second problem I have with this soda-pop (Thats hillybilly speak for cola people) is that it affects me funny. Now, granted I admit this could be just me, as I have not read or heard of anyone else having this issue. I’m not really sure how to say it, but shortly after drinking the blue potion of yummyness my bowels release! Actually, that’s not entirely accurate. When I eat cheese foods, my bowels release. When I drink this? my arse turns into a bloody sprinkler system!

anyway, other than those issues, its great! Try some! Just has some depends or something handy if you are drinking it on the road. You know, in order to be on the safe side “Just in case”. 😉

Fell in love with a girl
fell in love once and almost completely
she’s in love with the world
but sometimes these feelings
can be so misleading
she turns and says “are you alright?”
I said “I must be fine cause my heart’s still beating”
She says “come and kiss me by the riverside, bobby says it’s fine he don’t consider it cheating”

Red hair with a curl
mellow roll for the flavor
and the eyes for peeping
can’t keep away from the girl
these two sides of my brain
need to have a meeting
can’t think of anything to do
my left brain knows that
all love is fleeting
she’s just looking for something new
and I said it once before
but it bears repeating

A homeless man in Paris

Image via Wikipedia

Every town has them. Even those small sleepy little towns, you know the towns where everybody knows each other, and people have a habit of stopping and greeting you when you are walking down the street on a quiet weekend. I know this for a fact, because I live in one of these towns and yes, we have our share of homeless.

There are two homeless people in town, that I know of. These are the people who our community views as “Invisible”. The few people who do acknowledge their existence don’t view them in a positive light, in fact most of the few people who comment about the homeless end up belittling them, despite the fact that they know absolutely nothing about them.

“They are crazy!” “They are hostile!” “They carry diseases!”

These are the things people mutter about the homeless in this community. Are they correct in their claims? Who’s to say? They could be right, but the fact is, these claims are not based on any kind of fact. They come to these conclusions, simply because they have tattered clothes, are unshaven, and wear stained clothing. Those are their reasons for assuming they are nut-bag psycho black plague dealing dirtwads.

Fact of the matter, at least ONE of the homeless people in town, is actually quite friendly and nice. I couldn’t exactly tell you what his name is, because when I introduced myself he introduced himself as “Road Runner” and im fairly certain that is NOT the name his parents gave him at birth, however it is the name I suppose he chooses to go by.

I originally met him as I stopped by the local park, to use the public restroom, and as I was leaving the toilets a gruff voice called out behind me saying “Get out of my house!” Needless to say, I stopped and turned around to see who had just declared the bathroom their home. It was the homeless guy named who went by the name of “Road runner”.

We talked for a while, he told me a bit about himself, and surprisingly he didn’t even smell. Homeless folks sometimes are cleaner than you would imagine apparently. Turns out the man known as “Road runner” isn’t carrying diseases, he isn’t a total nutjob and even to my surprise, he isn’t totally filthy. He’s quite simply a friendly and good man who’s lost his family and fell on hard times and had nobody to lend a helping hand when he hit bottom. What happened to him could happen to any of us, under the right extreme circumstances.

The other homeless guy? Well, i’ve not talked to him. Neither has Road Runner, but according to Road runner the other homeless guy is a filthy nutjob.

The art of comics

Posted: February 4, 2009 in MMORPGs
Tags: , , , , ,

I have said this time and time again. I enjoy Comic book. Does this make me a geek? Yes, it probably does. However that does NOT change the fact that I honestly believe Comics are an incredible source of art. Everything from the drawing, to the inking, to the stories! Each Comic book contains a plethora of pieces of art!

That being said, I must also admit that not everything you find in a comic book are top notch, in fact a lot of it can be laughable. Take for instance this epic and action packed moment:

punisher-running

No, this isn’t from a charlie brown comic, and no the people shown above aren’t doing some new dance craze, or a classic dance craze. n fact, this REALLY is an action packed scene! See, Punisher is escorting a woman through a building while enemies are in hot pursuit. If you look closely you can see a gun in the guys hand, so OBVIOUSLY it’s the punisher.

I know, lame! But you could also just keep on pretending it’s the punisher dancing the funky chicken. That’s a visual you don’t get every day. Keep in mind though, most comic book issues are ALL incredibly detailed. If you haven’t picked up a comic in awhile, you might want to stop by your local comic book store(Yea! Seriously! They have stores devoted to these things now a days!!) and pick yourself up a comic. Although keep in mind, most comics aren’t self contained stories anymore, they have usually 6 issue story arcs or so, that way they fit better into a graphic novel format so they can get the real bucks! 😀

Easing your troubled mind

Posted: February 3, 2009 in All about ME!
Tags: , , ,

Ok, a lot of time has passed since I have scribbled down a post in this here blog, and I’m sure some of you were worried sick! Terror gripped your little hearts as you muttered “Where oh WHERE is Shaide?!” in a hushed tone.

Well, do not fret little ones! The Shaide is alive and kicking. The reason I haven’t posted anything is because, to be honest and quite blunt, I have just been really damn lazy! I’m not going to lie. I could claim that all those people who were leaving me death threats because of my hip-hop fashion post as well as my IRA = Terrorist post attempted to follow through their threats, but that would be a lie! In fact, im still surprised most of the death threateners can use a computer, so I have little fear of them attempting to end my glorious existance. I could even try claiming that I just didn’t have anything to say, but c’mon! It’s me we’re talking about! I always have something to say, people just can’t shut me up! Fact of the matter is, I have just been lazy!

However my bout of laziness has thus far been confined to my Blogging abilities! It certainly hasn’t affected me gaming, my porn viewing, My nose picking or even my booze gulping! No siree-bob! Just has prevented me from coming on here and ranting and raving like a mad man with his penis got in a food processor.

I will make this solemn vow though. I will make every attempt to post more on this blog, Because I know how desperately you want to hear my thoughts on matters! Even if I don’t bestow upon you my opinions on something, I will at the very least tell you how my days have been going. What color socks I have been wearing and how many times I have rubbed one out while thinking about yo momma! 😀