What’s the worst game ever released? Up until today I would have said E.T. for the Atari 2600, a game that I am sure most people who have had the chance or misfortune to play it, would agree is quite bad.
However, today I played a game that actually outbads ET in the stinker department! The game is Doctor Who: The Eternity Clock, and the game sucks so much ass that it isn’t even remotely funny!
Let me say up front, that I am a huge Doctor Who Fan! I have loved Doctor Who for as far back as I can remember, and while not a huge fan of Matt Smith‘s portrayal of the Doctor, I still watch it, because it’s Doctor Who! What I am getting at, is that there isn’t much they could do, that would turn me away from the good doctor.
A few years back, they released a series of episodic point and click adventure games, centered around Matt Smith’s Doctor and “Amy Pond“. I loved those games! So, when “The Eternity Clock” was released, I picked that up. Now, normally, I won’t touch a game unless it has a Demo, because I am a careful game shopper, but again, this was the Doctor, and I loved the other games!
First off, this game is NOTHING like the episodic series! So, if that’s what you are expecting, sorry to disappoint. The game plays kind of like a side scroller game, with some puzzle solving and stealth elements.
Allow me to go into further detail.
When I say Puzzle solving, I mean very basic puzzles, they aren’t creative, and just seems kind of forced. They don’t offer much of a challenge in of themselves, the challenge is working against an impossible time limit, that requires perfect execution of the puzzle. Normally not a bad thing in a game, except that you have to also realise that this game has some horrible controls! Aiming your sonic screwdriver is not very accurate, and many times will take a few tries to acquire a target, which takes away precious seconds, which is essential when you are working against a very demanding clock.
Now, I also said it had stealth elements, but let me clarify. Have you ever played Splinter Cell for the mobile phone? It’s very much like that. Crouch and sneak up behind enemies and disable them. Press up at darkened doorways to step into them and not get seen. run past the search lights that just go back and forth.
That’s the stealth im talking about. Basically the game plays like a bad cell phone game.
That being said, in terms of graphics? The graphics are horrible! Especially when compared to the years older episodic games! One would think they would have improved the graphics instead of worsening them.
The sound? That is actually pretty damn good! It has the actual actors reprising their characters roles, and the music is of course very whoish. Everything audiowise screams Doctor who!
Overall however, I would say the game is garbage, and just like ET, took a good IP and managed to turn it into a steaming pile. Bad graphics, horrible controls, ridiculous time requirements(Combined with the controls) and chock full of bugs!
What? I didn’t mention the bugs? Those are there a plenty, which adds to the frustration! Cutscenes won’t start when they should, thus causing the game to be unable to continue unless you restart, and the restart locations are few and far between! Not only that, but during the one player game, occasionally River will become unresponsive and just stand there, not follow or engage in any interactions. It’s almost as if this game wasn’t beta tested. Kind of like they rushed to produce a sub-par game, stuff it in a box, and say “Hey who fans! We have this wet turd that you will love, because it says Doctor Who on it!”.
On top of ALL this, the game developers are apparently quite confident that Who fans will eat up anything with Doctor Who stamped on it, that they plan on making this a series of games! This one being the first. Will they be as bad? I don’t know, to be honest, I won’t even give them a try.
One thing I did learn from this, is do not, under any circumstance buy a game without a demo, even when you are fairly sure you will love it!
Thanks for ruining Doctor Who for me Supermassive Games!